My Journey with forgiveness
Forgiveness can be one of the most difficult things to achieve in our hearts and to process depending on what happened to us and the level of pain or damage it has been felt or done, it can almost feel impossible to achieve it sometimes, especially right at the beginning when the hurt, damage or offense are still being digested in our emotional and spiritual system and sometimes even physical world.
What the Lord has shown me is that, It takes a lot of wisdom and meditation in him to be able to truly unlock it in our hearts and heal from it.. Many times most people are not being able to let it go because they have a different perspective on what it truly means. Usually they think that in order to let it go equals going back to the offender or justifying and approve what has been done, which is not true. The truth needs to be known in this situation in order to be truly set free.
(John 8:32) - “and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
The layers in our emotional and spiritual system
Unforgiveness can also include layers of other roots deep down in our system that are also in need of healing. The emotional world can be very complex and such a deep rabbit hole.. It's such a painful subject if not one of the most painful to process. As humans, God created us in his image, he programmed our system in his image and to process things IN HIS IMAGE, unless there's particular cases of empty vessels of satan who have the moral and emotional system backwards to what God has designed it to be, but that will be another subject for another day.
(Isaiah 5:20-21) - Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and shrewd in their own sight!
One of the things that God has shown me is that even with trauma, It's an alarming sign in our nature that an offense against God's image have been done. Even in our sinful nature and in a corrupt world, there's an essence deep down in us, the finger print of God our creator that nothing or no one can touch and our bodies cannot help it but to react against such offense and alert us that God's spiritual laws have been broken, It is apart of nature to react, process and feel pain from such offenses, nothing to be embarrassed about. God allows it and it is healthy for us to react, feel it, be angry, and he also cares about what have been done to us since we were created to be loved and to share love to others, but it is also our responsibility on what we are going to do with this emotions and how we are going to process them.
(Ephesians 4:26-32) - '' Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. ''
Who are we to refuse forgiveness to others?
As we all know, God is forgiving and merciful, he forgives us as we go to him in genuine repentance and throws our wicked sinful deeds in the sea of forgiveness while he is the only one in his perfection, glory and power to have all to right to punish and condemn us.. This is also something helpful to reflect on when struggling with unforgiveness. Because we are weak in our nature, we quickly tend forget about this facts. What this concludes is that we are no one to refuse unforgiveness to others when God himself forgave us of our sinful deeds, we don't deserve it, but the unconditional love of God and Jesus sacrifice on the cross saved us from what we truly deserved, What a God to be praised Hallelujah!
This is also why God cannot forgive us unless we forgive our debtors in return, (Matthew 6:12) - forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.'"
(Romans 5:8) - But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
When we open ourselves and tell him that we forgive those who have wronged us, it is a big step that he already justifies, it already means that forgiveness is on the move, he is still interested in walking on a growth journey with us about the subject, the more we allow this journey to take place the more freedom we will experience.
What it truly means to forgive?
As the time went by, on a journey with God's healing hand at work in my life, I have achieved a level of growth in forgiveness that I never ever thought it would be possible from the beginning. The hurt I went through caused a lot of damage in almost every area of my life emotionally, mentally and physically. I used to think that there was no way of being able to forgive such people and letting go in my heart when I was at the peak of pain and damage. I could feel God's anger for my abusers, God is angry at the wicked he hates sin. I felt God's care and concern for my pain and damaged caused, I felt his unconditional love compassion and nurture for all what happened and for the conditions I have found myself in, he allows us to have our moment of anger and pain, he knows how serious things can be, and step by step he walked with me on a journey of growth and healing.. He delivered me from all the pain, bitterness and restored my peace, years later I am able to look back and to not feel any negative feelings or bitter emotions anymore, the key is to also leave it in God's hands, he says '' vengeance is mine'', this verse goes deeper than we think
(Romans 12:19) - Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
What God is trying to tell us in this verse is that he is the one in control of the judgment of the wicked, this is his battle not our battle, the judgment of man cannot be compared to the judgment of God, it's not even close to be compared. It is God's will that we move on with peace in our hearts holding tight to his hand.. that we look back and don't feel disturbing negative feelings anymore or wish any vengeance, all this is for our own wellbeing and benefit, it is also about fully submitting our trust to God and rest in his arms, he is the one in control of all things in creation. This is one of the greatest things we can achieve in our hearts in order to truly be able to breathe freedom and joy from within. So take a deep breathe, meditate on God's love and wisdom, take this as a journey and freedom will be yours.